Toddlers ransack house

Follow-up on the first home study visit

I just got a reminder from one of my friends that I needed to do a follow-up on how my first home study meeting went. I'm sorry it didn't cross my mind. This entire last week has been utter chaos for me and, since the home study ended last Thursday, I've been so relieved to have it behind me, for now, that it just completely slipped my mind.

I ended up going over to DHHR's office last Monday (April 6th) with several questions. It'd been five weeks since I'd finished the PRIDE classes and I hadn't heard anything at all back from them. When I got there I was finally able to learn that I had been assigned a regional homefinder and that I was actually the next one on the list and she had planned on calling me later that afternoon to schedule my first of two home study visits and that it would probably be scheduled for next week sometime. About three hours later, she called and asked me if Thursday afternoon would work. I told her that'd be fine (I didn't dare turn it down) and then began my three day madness of trying to finish turning a one bedroom apartment into a home for up to possibly three (since I'm open for up to a sibling group of two).

They tell us not to stress out on this too much, that it's not going to be some kind of white glove test on how spotless we can make a home, but I did anyways even down to cleaning up litter from all over the apartment building's parking lot to dusting the bannister railings leading up from the street level. I got three hours of sleep by the time I gave in and conked out early the morning of the visit. Monday and Tuesday nights had been somewhat better than that but not by much. It's probably the most stressed out I've ever been in my life.

Pam Pomeroy is my regional home finder and everything I've seen out of her seems absolutely great! She helped me out a lot, by her manner, in being able to relax more during her visit and we spent right at three hours in talking through forms that I'd had to fill out; giving her opportunity to learn about me, aspects of my childhood and upbringing, some about my personal beliefs and convictions, what kinds of things I'm interested in and participate in, why I want a child, how I plan to bring up a child as one of my own, and a number of other items. We also did a walk-through of my apartment and, outside of installing cabinet safety latches and drawing up a fire escape safety layout for the child(ren), I passed in all the safety issues and other requirements that needed to be met. Yesterday, Easter Sunday, I had my fifth and final reference form filled out and today one of references had a face-to-face interview.

As for what's next:

Because of things that were shared about the physical, sexual, and emotional abuse that I endured as a child, Pam told me that anytime a potential foster/adopt parent has "suffered from a traumatic childhood" (as she put it), they do prefer to have a psychological exam performed on the potential foster/adopt parent. I agreed with having such a test done but have requested that it be done by another woman since it's a lot easier for me to open up that way. I'm not sure when that's going to be scheduled for yet but I'm guessing soon.

I have to do up the fire escape plan and install the cabinet safety latches in the kitchen. There's also about five questions left I need to answer on my "Personal Information" packet and write up an autobiography, both of which I don't anticipate taking much time. There will be one more face-to-face interview with a second reference and then all of that (with the references) will be completely finished.

DHHR was thrilled that I was wanting to parent enough that I was willing to give up my own personal privacy by giving the only bedroom up to a child, stating that most parents wouldn't even consider the idea. However, they really would prefer for me to have my own room as well. Pam told me she had met with her supervisor about the situation just that morning (of the home study visit) about the living situation and they decided they wanted to do what she referred to as a "tentative placement." Basically, it would be doing up all the paperwork required as part of the process to select a child to place with me and stopping just shy of actually bringing the child to my home. DHHR had hoped it would be enough to get HUD to move me up to a two-bedroom voucher, let me move and get settled in, and then with all the paperwork already previously completed, the only step left would be actually bringing the child to the new home. HUD, however, is STUBBORN! They will not budge on this issue. So.........

On Tuesday (next week); April 21st, at 1pm, I have the second of the home study visits. On that day, the last of the safety issues will be checked off, the last of the paper work turned in, and the last of the two reference interviews should be completed. I believe then that Pam gets to type up her report and submit it to the powers up above her for final approval. She has already stated that she thinks I'm going to be great at this but she doesn't get to make the final decision, though I'm guessing her recommendation will probably hold a tremendous amount of weight. She's already made the comment about being able to move soon and she's spoken with the landlord about how much time he thinks it would take to find me an available two-bedroom since I really would prefer to keep with the same landlord. He has already done so many things on helping me pass this home study that I really don't think he was required to do and I've been blessed by that! Josh told her he didn't think it would be difficult or take much time at all!

I'm still tied in here with HUD until June 1st, when my HUD contract becomes a month-to-month basis, but considering a 30-day notice has to be put in, that could be done as early as the last day of this month! HUD has agreed that just as soon as a child has been physically placed into my home, I will immediately qualify for a two-bedroom voucher and can put in the 30-day notice and DHHR is seeming eager to hurry up and get me moved to a larger place (having already asked my landlord how quickly he'd be able to work on this), so I'm hoping it won't be much longer before I have a child and moving, possibly around the first of the summer. I'm so excited!

1st Scheduled Home Study Visit

S.T.R.E.S.S.E.D!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And excited!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And moderate fear

And worry.

And, OH MY GOSH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I just got the phone call from the regional homefinder that’s been assigned to me and the first out of my three, I think?, home study visits is in just over 70 hours from right now! I am about to become the queen of clean (hard to believe, I know). I’d write more but there’s plenty I need to be busy around here with. That, coupled with the idea that I have my first level two training class tonight at 6pm for “Using Discipline to Protect, Nurture, and Meet Developmental Needs.”

Please pray for my emotions right now because they are a COMPLETE MESS!

Home study visit Thursday; April 9th at 1pm